By Dr. Rhea Zimmerman
I have recently fallen in love with the art and intricacy of forgiveness. While the journey in to this discovery began from the standpoint of forgiving the “big things” like feelings of betrayal and violation, it led to an ever energizing realization which is the application of daily forgiveness on the “small things” like saying the “wrong thing”, heading headlong into negative or worry mental states about any given subject, or simply stepping into the day, or moments of the day with assumptions about how it was going to go based on the past or even on a “wrong side of the bed” start.
Forgiveness is alchemical because it is like dropping an energetic magic pill into the otherwise stagnant vibration of the moment and allowing the freshness of the energy to permeate everything. It can instantaneously and without words or phone calls shift relationships, moments of opportunity, and the feeling of a sweeter inhale as breath and energy permeates deeper into the body and being allowing for new.
Forgiveness, which I now see as aliveness, begins in every moment. I like to think of it as a “refresh” button that can be pressed in any given set of circumstances. From the standpoint of fresh aliveness this forgiveness is like laying claim to the realization that it is never too late, there is no moment (as long as you are alive) when new is not possible, and life is ever changing, dynamic and responsive to the vibration that we are putting out.
Not only does this idea have great power to transform the experience of our outer lives, it has great power to transform the state of health in the inner life. Hanging on to resentments, self-judgements and blame creates inner toxicity. It gunks up the organs, it causes the wheels of the mind to stagnate, and lowers the energy. Reversing this tendency to create inner freedom and aliveness releases energy and allows for the organs and body to renew itself.
I recently read about an experiment called the “Dollar Auction” and have been experimenting with the idea that it proposes which I feel is closely linked with this idea of moment to moment “refresh” button. In the dollar auction there is an auctioneer and two players. The players are bidding for the dollar, yet as they bid for the dollar every bid must be paid out no matter who is the highest bidder. This means that as the two bidders approach a 1 dollar bid they are now paying one dollar in order to either get, or lose, a dollar. The average game continues to escalate until the winner pays somewhere between 3-5 dollars for one dollar. Everyone logically knows this is a very bad win, yet, the game works due to the fact that once invested in something, no one wants to let go of that investment and take a “lose” if they perceive they can still win, even once it is determined that the “success” is still an overall loss.
If you are still with me, and I hope you are, then you can possibly take the leap with me as to what this game implies. We have a tendency to stay invested, far too long, in that which is obviously not serving us. This is one of the ways in which I see the beauty of the forgiveness or “refresh” button. We have choice. We have choice in every single moment. No moment is “too late” to begin a new choice, or a new agreement with oneself or anyone else. Also, there is a great possibility, that by “cutting our losses” on a bad investment now could pay off in far greater dividends when freed up to “invest” in a better way of thinking, fresh possibility, new relationships, new takes on relationships, etc. as the “new” investment grows from a fresh kind of alive energy.
I proposed this idea in my last class on “forgiveness” and have been told already that it reaped great results for those in the class who realized areas of their lives that they were overly invested in. For some the investment is in being a victim of some kind of situation or violation. For some it is in a relationship that they have “come this far in”. For some it is a career. I recall the painful realizations for some classmates in the third year of chiropractic college who, faced with the reality of seeing clients and adjusting them rather than taking and excelling in paper tests realized that they did not actually enjoy nor want to be chiropractors. By that point, nearly 100,000 dollars in to the commitment, many continued on as if they had no other choice. Even though it is an exchange of future time, which is life, as well as more financial investment.
The capacity to cut losses, let go, erase old stories, old patterns, bad directions, and all other “investments” in identity that are no longer serving us is such an awesome power. It unleashes creativity and incredible energy. I believe it is actually the wellspring of Joy.
It starts right now. Refresh.